VAL’S IN THE VINEYARDS

(or Wog Chariots in the Wineries).

by Marianne Rivet

When ‘El Presidente’ suggested a Hunter Valley wine tour for this year’s CAVOA Winter Escape, I was amongst the first to raise my hand. Problem was he was the one in charge of the organization….which in the end meant that I would have to assist with the wheeling and dealing: it’s in the job description of the ‘First Lady’! The first thing Gerry did to organize the weekend was to type Hunter Valley into the search query for Google, then exclaim “S#%T!” when over 2 million results were displayed: not a good start! That’s when he was nudged off the computer and given the TV remote to pacify him, while I started to locate some accommodation near the Vineyards.

When the accommodation at Valley Vineyard Tourist Park at Cessnock was OK’d by the rest of the ‘Winter Escapees’ – and with one week to go – we had to set about finding a tour bus for the group. Thankfully the folks at Hunter Vineyard Tours were able to provide us a twelve seat bus for the Saturday tour-de-grapes at short notice. And voila, the weekend was organized!

After meeting at 5:30pm at Uncle Leo’s Diner, we set off north in convoy. There was Hugh and Jane in the VG sedan, Graham and Anne in the Chrysler by Chrysler, Kevin in the VC ute, Pete and Shelley in the VH Charger, and Gerry and I in the Neon. We were also expecting Tony in his VH pacer, but he was unable to attend; a certain person (Gerry) also told Fletch and Linda the wrong date, so they were unable to attend in the CM, either….The trip up was excellent, until we encountered a slow-moving, mobile chicane on the outskirts of Cessnock after exiting the F3 freeway. With some right foot depression this problem was quickly overcome, and before we knew it we were in Cessnock, attempting to find our accommodation.

When we found the accommodation, I was ‘floored’ when the manager stated she wasn’t expecting us this weekend: considering I spoke to her on the preceding Monday to confirm the reservation! She had her weekends mixed up, but thankfully they were able to accommodate us. All we wanted was to unload the cars and get into some dinner after our cruise. Dinner was at the adjacent Blue Thai restaurant, and Kevin amazed the waiter by ordering the hottest item on the menu – and finished the lot! Kev likes his hot and spicy food, but this brought fierce tears to his eyes rather than a sweat to the brow, so we all knew it must actually be thermo-nuclear rather than hot! We tried the Merlot that was grown by the manager of the accommodation, and hoped that the wine on the following day was a vast improvement on this drop. After dinner, we retired to the cabins to put out the fire in Kevin’s stomach with some ever-reliable bourbon and coke. The poor bugger shared our cabin, and had a separate, tiny room with 2 single beds in it: except he’s longer than a single bed, and had his head resting on one wall and his feet on the other wall during his slumber. (At last, a benefit to being knee-high to a grasshopper, says I!)

The next morning the bus came to collect us at 10am, after many of us made dashes to Cessnock McDonalds to ensure our stomachs were primed for all-day wine tasting. Our driver’s name was Alex, and he made sure we gained some local knowledge along the way. Our first stop was McWilliams winery, and I was very happy to see a Neon (not mine) in the parking lot! Later we were to find out that it belonged to the gorgeous man behind the bar named Gavin, who took us through their range of red and white wines and fortified products and then took us on a tour of the winery and the wine-making processes out the back. The girls were enquiring if Gavin came with each case of wine purchased, but we had to settle for the grog alone (nice butt though, eh Jane?). McWilliams also had flavoured olive oils for testing, and I can recommend the wasabe olive oil if you need your taste buds blasted, and cool them down with the Inheritance Fruitwood white wine!

Next stop was Drayton’s Family Wines. The highlight here was that they supply some of their products in huge flagons! Alex the driver dutifully kept piling our purchases into our booze bus as we sampled everything that was placed in front of us: it was our duty to the Australian wine industry to ease their over-supply!

We boarded the bus again and headed for Golden Grape Estate winery and some well-deserved lunch after some more wine tasting. Lunch was served in the nick of time, as many heads were beginning to swoon from the over-indulgence of wine. Golden Grape has excellent Muscat and chili Schnapps that warms every cockle of your heart. Their fruity Gewurztraminer Riesling could not be pronounced by the car-buffs, so it was spelled out for them as “Gear-box-trauma” to which Gerry took offence due to the current predicament of his Charger! (Mind you, he still brought a bottle!) Thankfully lunch seemed to absorb some of the alcohol and reinstate some semblance of sobriety before we set off for the next winery.

Next up was Lindemans, which also had a fudge tasting and cafe on site. When we arrived, we were the largest group and thus had the full attention of the barman; however the arrival of a larger group had us overshadowed and took away our barman. That’s OK because their wine was a huge let down, so we milled outside and asked Alex if he could suggest another spot in lieu of Lindemans. He took us to the lookout at the Audrey Wilkinson vineyard which displayed a 360^o view of the Hunter Valley – just breathtaking – and we then proceeded to the Pokolbin Chocolate & Jam Company and the Hunter Valley Smelly Cheese Shop. There were lots of goodies for tasting and a few little packages made their way back into the bus.

By this stage it was 3:30pm, the booze bus was quite full and the ‘Winter Escapees’ were feeling a little worse for wear. When we got to our last winery, Rothbury Estate, we were taken upstairs to a room with massive wine barrels with autographs from some famous folk. Downstairs, the wine tasting continued, but I must admit that everything was beginning to taste the same and all I wanted to do was drink something non-alcoholic! More purchases were made and stashed by Alex in odd spaces within the booze bus, and then it was time to head back to our accommodation.

You’d think that Cessnock is a relatively small town and that getting dinner at 6pm would be an easier task than getting sloshed at a winery; but we struggled to find a restaurant that could fit us in before 8pm! We walked at least 1.5km along Wollombi Rd until we got to SSS BBQ Barns restaurant where we waited for our 8pm reservation (courtesy of Pete and Telstra for ringing ahead). By this stage we were ready to eat our arms off, so we asked for menus while we were having drinks at the bar; when we finally got our table, we fired off our orders which were delivered in next to no time, and ate various cuts of exquisite steak. We ordered a maxi taxi to return us to our accommodation, where people rested their weary heads until the next day.

The CAVOA chefs were up early, and we rose to a massive breakfast of eggs, bacon, sausages, toast and juice: well done to the chefs! I didn’t realize that there was only one hot water heater shared among three cabins, but learned this fact quickly when my shower was completely cold after two minutes! Sorry to Kevin and Gerry who I cursed ‘til Kingdom come over this matter: Girls ALWAYS need a hot shower in the mornings to feel human again!

We decided to run our own tour on Sunday, and set off for the Australian Woodwork gallery. A beautiful selection of wooden products tempted your sight and smell – and your wallet! We crossed the road to the Potters Brewery and Candy store, where most folk found enjoyment for their taste buds in one way or another.

We then decided to try The Hunter Valley Chocolate Company and Petersons Champagne House. I have never tasted more exquisite chocolate strawberries – they were that good that I wanted to lick the plate! A small amble to Petersons saw me tasting everything in sight, even though I said I wouldn’t drink today. The Craig Wing look-alike barman asked me what I wanted to try and I said “EVERYTHING” hoping that he too was on the sampling menu; but alas, he was not which Shelley, Jane and I were disappointed about! They had a fantastically sweet Semillon and a sparkling Shiraz that confused your senses. As we were leaving, the lads turned on their heels when four blonde beauties walked in, and I thought the lads were going to re-enter Petersons and become wine connoisseurs just to keep their eyes entertained!

We decided to eat lunch at the German restaurant at Windarra Winery, but first we had to taste their wines. They had the most gentle, fruity Chardonnay I’ve ever tasted, the ONLY decent Shiraz that I tried in the Hunter, a sweet Semillon, “Viagra in a Bottle” which was Honey Mead with gold flakes through it, beautiful Indulgence chocolate or egg wine liqueurs and superb White Liqueur Port. They also make their pottery port crocks on-site, made to order. Lunch was divine: large servings of sumptuous German foods coupled with German beer and wines which placed everyone’s stomachs in sheer ecstasy. This place was fantastic, and just proved that you need to wander off the beaten track to find the more personalised service, and indeed, the better wines, in the Hunter. It was certainly a lesson for me for next time. We also found that they had their own accommodation on-site, which was almost required by Pete when they brought him 500mL of DAB beer after he placed his order! Plus the winemaker also shouted us a round of German beer for the lads and a bottle of imported strawberry sparkling wine for the ladies: sheer heaven!

Another lesson for next time is that five standard 20mL tastes of wine is equal to one standard drink, which my liver was trying to tell me but my head was unable to listen!

After an easy trip home with the Neon’s boot full of goodies, the weekend was over. What a great weekend it was, and hopefully we can do another wine tour of the Hunter Valley soon. Given more warning, I’m sure more CAVOA members will participate in the next trip. I think that it was important to have a charted tour bus and driver, because no-one was able to drive responsibly after the first winery, contrary to their own beliefs!